January 2010
why am i so addicted to talking to you?
why when you dont respond i am slowly dying inside?
why is it that i always want to hang out with you?
why are you so nice to me?
why do you put up with me when you really should be sick of me?
why do i love you?
if this process has to take longer than we thought… i dont know if i can take it and i might.. just might to have to punch someone… i want it out of her. i dont want to wait anymore. i want it out. just freakin take it out!
inspirations
looking for inspirations for a tattoo… i know i wont be able to get one for a while but i REALLY want to get one. <3
am i really okay with the way things are right now or am i just pretending?
this is going to be a long, emotional journey….
?
is it true that if you pretend something for long enough it will actually happen?
Society
why does society say that everyone has to be in a relationship? and everyone that is not in a relationship is on the outside of society? i dont get it. yes. the man and the woman are made to be with people of the opposite sex or same sex for that matter. but we were made to be with someone. but for those who are not in a relationship are “outsiders” i dont like the fact that this is...
i want to get a tattoo
it would be so much easier to say
i hate you.
but instead i say where would i be
without you.
Wheel
i am always the 3rd, 5th, etc. wheel. but you know what? i dont care. i am fine with being the “lone wolf” i hardly ever feel awkward or uncomfortable because i have great friends who make me feel loved even though i dont have a guy in my life right now. it will come when it comes. yes, id like sooner rather than later, but i cant control that…. but being the “wheel”...
why?
why is it that you are the last person i always think of when i go to bed?
why?
14495.) I love you, there.
blogsecret:
I said it. I imagine all sorts of scenarios, dreaming that one day we WILL be together. I don’t even know why I like you so much, I can’t help it yet I can’t let go. I want things the way they used to be. Me and you, best friends. Late night phone calls, flirting, all that jazz. It hurts to know you treat a bunch of other girls just the same as me. It feels like I’m always the last...
i love all my friends. i really do. but sometimes i wonder why i dont have friends my own age… its nights like this that i wish i did. everyone is at formal and i am at home. i mean yes, i did find some things to do. but it involved hanging with adults(shocker right?) haha. i have either adult friends, or friends that are younger than me. and i LOVE ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND I WOULDNT CHANGE ANY...
its moments like this that having a bf would be nice. to have someone to call in the middle of the night crying/ freaking out. to have someone come over and just hold me when i need it. to have someone want to be there with me to help me go through all this. to have someone lay next to me in bed while i am thinking. to have someone just be here while im silent with thoughts and know what i am...
* a sigh of relief*
why do i torture myself when it comes to you…
now is not the time for you to be an ass.
just sayin
whatever i can
I will do whatever i can to make her comfortable.
whatever she needs i will be there.
she has been there for me for 18 years.
its the least that i can do.
i will do whatever i can…
because she i my mother.
and i L.O.V.E. her.
so i just found out that even after i unplug my blow-dryer… i can still get shocked. ouch. hahaha. do not try this at home.. it is quite painful
Breathe
alexisrubell:
My dearest Kayla,
I love you and everything is going to be okay. You know how much your family means to me and I’d do anything for them. Please. PLEASE do NOT hesitate to call me. I know how hard this is. I have been through this WAY too many times. I will leave class to talk to you on the phone. I will be at your side the second you need me. I don’t pray all that often but I will...
Pink Ribbon
looks like i will sporting a pink ribbon now. fond out today my mom has breast cancer… i will stay strong. i will stay strong. i will stay strong.
How could i be so stupid and think that i actually meant something to you? i know that you’re a player, but i did it anyway. and i told myself it meant nothing. but it did. i know that you are going and hooking up with other girls and i didnt think that it would have bothered me. but it does.
im done.